Venturing into the realm of kink often feels like diving into a new language. These terms—sub, dom, voyeur, exhibitionist—denote different forms of sexual play, each with its own unique dynamics.
Kink involves a deeper look into the psychology of sexual pleasure. It may involve elements such as pain play, leather, or whipping, but at its core is imaginative play and collaboration between partners to enhance the sexual experience. The use of sex toys can also be incorporated to add to the pleasure.
Why should you learn about Kink?
Kink offers a vast realm of sexual exploration and comes with several benefits:
Strengthen relationships by cultivating greater intimacy and trust.
Allows for deep exploration of the emotions needed during sex.
Facilitate a safe and erotic power exchange experience.
Inject novelty and excitement into sexual encounters.
Interested in kink? Let’s explore some common kink profiles and how to experience them in real life. Remember, in any sexual exploration, especially when introducing kink into a relationship, communication with your partner is key.
If your sexual desire involves a situation that makes you feel "powerless," restricted, ordered, or willing to relinquish control, you may view yourself as submissive or "inferior." If you are interested, you can try the method.
Try sensory deprivation, such as using eye patches to remove your vision.
Explore physical restraints with bed restraints, leg extenders, or handcuffs. Engage in situations where your partner sets the rules and you follow them, such as asking you to use "please" to request a specific sexual act.
While these suggestions focus on submissive behavior, the nature of the subordinate/dominance dynamic is more about the overall atmosphere. The combination of consent and chemistry plays a key role in experiencing the intoxicating feeling of being controlled by, or exerting control over, another person—which will carry over to our next kink type.
If you find yourself fantasizing about being in a commanding role, giving orders, directing someone, or controlling everything, you may have dominant tendencies. If you're in a relationship, here are some ways to explore dominance:
Stimulate excitement before sexual encounters by writing in detail what you plan to do to your partner, thereby creating anticipation.
Consider using restraints or restraints during the act to assert your physical dominance.
To increase intensity, introduce sex toys and instruct your partner not to climax until you give them permission.
Remember, being an effective dom requires keen observation of your partner's body language while maintaining control of the situation. You are the one leading this sexual encounter.
Additionally, if you're willing to explore further, you can also consider edgier roleplay dynamics such as CNC (consensual non-consensual sex) or DDLG (daddy dom/little girl).
3. CNC (consensual non-consensual sexual intercourse)
We all know that this is a fantasy about forced sex. To achieve this, your communication must be crystal clear upfront to paint a picture of an exciting and safe sexual experience for all involved. Here are some basic rules:
CNC testing can only be done between trusted parties.
Build a safeword: a tool in the kink world to keep yourself safe if things go south. Take this step outside the bedroom ahead of time. From there: you can play! As an intensified form of the master/slave dynamic, CNC looks like one partner pushing the other against a wall and "forcing" them to have sex on the spot.
Or it might appear more dramatic, such as establishing a date but not a time when the event occurred, giving the encounter an air of unpredictability.
Another way to utilize CNC dynamics is to put the sub into a "struggle" headspace, where they try to resist sex itself - possibly while the sex is taking place.
Again, this one is edgy! no doubt. If it scares you, don't try it. But within a container of safety and trust, CNC can provide a way to play with sexual feelings in a way that isn't always socially acceptable. This is why I always say kink is play, because we are firmly in a world of imagination and exploration.
4. Peeping Tom
If you indulge in the fantasy of watching others engage in sexual activity, you may have voyeuristic tendencies. Here are some ways to explore voyeurism, and be sure to get your explicit consent if you're in a relationship:
Watch your partner undress, shower, or bathe.
Witness your partner pleasuring themselves. This may involve being in the room with them, or discreetly observing through a slightly open door.
In a more advanced scenario, invite another person into the bedroom and observe your partner engaging in sexual activity with them.
Voyeurism remains a common fantasy for many people because of the excitement of the potential risks and the allure of seeing a partner in a private moment without knowing they are being watched.
The counterpart to voyeurism is exhibitionism. If you get a thrill from being watched or enjoy the thrill of potential exposure, you may be prone to exhibitionism. Here are some ways to explore this issue:
Have sex outdoors, perhaps in a relatively secluded area such as a backyard.
For a more adventurous experience, consider having sex somewhere more adventurous, such as while hiking or camping. Remember to consider potential bystanders in public spaces.
Despite the short distance, it's exciting to try out car sex. Try lotus position - both parties sit in the passenger seat and the receiver sits on the giver's lap.
Congratulations on expanding your sexual knowledge and familiarizing yourself with various kink profiles! Now you can explore your kink, but make sure you communicate well with your partner.